Thank you so much to everyone for your emails and comments regarding my last post. I was overwhelmed to see so many of you share your opinions on this topic. I was also touched by how many of you introduced yourselves, it's so nice to get to know some of the people that read this space.
I also want to let you know, that these feelings were not a result of anything that has happened here. Or anywhere, for that matter. I guess they are a natural expansion of these new protective emotions I am experiencing the first time as a result of becoming a mother.
I worry if anything were to happen to me, who would carry her over their shoulder exactly how she likes? I worry about the first time she goes to school. I worry about her first broken heart. I worry about her first grazed knee. And then, my mind wanders and I worry about worse things.
Generally, I am not a fearful person. I have lived in dodgy parts of London feeling completely at ease. Other than this blog (and an occasional Etsy buy) I live in a mostly analogue world. I go to the bank. I buy CD's and books in a shop. I prefer to call people than email or text. Heck, we don't even have a television. (We listen to the radio!) I like to believe that there is mostly good in this world. But of course there are creepy people, too. Online and in real life.
So far, this blog has bought me nothing but joy and good things. I have even made some real life friends out of it. For the time being, I am going to continue this space. Perhaps I will be more careful about what I share, but I know I will do what I feel comfortable with. We have some exciting projects coming up that I really want to share here too. There are good things happening.
But now I'm off to enjoy our weekend. As much as I can with this rain.
Pink iPhone pictures from yesterday's walk. Those Brogues are my favourite shoes in the world.
Peace :)
ReplyDeletehttp://aluminium.tabulas.com
I will be honest with you, when this post came up in my email I got goosebumps. I was fearful and excited. I am now feeling joy, a little sadness, and most of all a lot of admiration for you. I don't even know you that well, (yet), and already I feel I am walking in your shoes..... oh please tell me I can walk in your brogues!
ReplyDeleteMB, you have all the fears I have too. I am fearful of so many things when it comes to my daughter. That first broken heart is a worry! I also have a lot of fears for my son too. But I know that when Keely has that first broken heart she will have her mum with big open arms, some chocolate, and a little brother with a good punch to sort that boy out.... just joking, hope he isn't going to punch anyone!
love to you xoxo
ps... enjoy your weekend! hot chocolates and wellies! jump, splash and have fun lovely MB x
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you're staying :)
ReplyDeleteI am a worry-wart when it comes to letting my mind wander to terrible places, I can only imagine how bad it will be once we have kids. If there is bleach soaking in the bathtub I have borderline anxiety attacks thinking my cats are in there drinking it. So silly.
I'm sending peaceful thoughts your way. I have no idea how to ease the mind when it comes to worrying, but I hope you find the answers, soon.
Please don't stop blogging! I love your blog because it is a little step into the future for me. I will be in your shoes in about 6 months time. I love seeing what it is going to be like and I love all your little outings. It is so inspiring that you obviously get out so much! And I love everything you dress BB in too. Her little beanies are gorgeous (makes me want to buy beanies for my bubs but I probably don't need to...)
ReplyDeleteThankyou for sharing your world Anna.
x Emily
My sweet little man was born in January and with all the new emotions I felt, fear was the most surprising. I wasn't expecting it and it is sometimes overwhelming. I spent the first month in constant fear that something would happen to me and I wouldn't be here for my boy. But then you just go on with life and you get less afraid.
ReplyDeleteI love reading your blog and seeing your experiences that mirror mine in so many ways.
Your family is beautiful.
Hi Anna
ReplyDeleteI totally and completely feel where you're coming from. I have the same awful mind wandering concerns for my little madam. In her first few weeks I was in tears most of the day worrying about all the awful things that could possibly happen to her, the foremost being SIDS (damn baby blues!). My husband said a similar thing to me as PB - he worries about her too, but even if something like that did happen, we just have to make sure that the time she is here is the best it can be.
I'm happy to say that the concerns are less and less in my mind and I'm just enjoying our time together.
I love popping in for a visit to your blog, and I think that your honesty - positive and (as you say) negative - is the most enjoyable part. It's good to know that I'm not alone in my concerns.
xo Anna
that rose cardi is gorgeous! glad you are back x
ReplyDeletedid you read my post about my baby getting her first black eye and me crying for a long time?
ReplyDeleteNow that she's moving I fear for her life.
Blogging is good. It's cathartic. I'm glad you're sticking with it.
Lovely pinks, enjoy your weekend. The weather bureau said the rain would ease this afternoon...
ReplyDeleteEngracia
xx
Hello, my name is Corin and I live in Austin, Texas. I found your blog from Cup of Jo. As other readers have pointed out, your honesty keeps me reading. I also enjoy your style of posting -- something I am keeping in mind as I start my own blog to share my new family's life with our family and friends. Thank you for your lovely blog. --corin
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you'll keep blogging, I find this a delightful and inspiring place to visit each day. Perhaps one thing you could do is put some kind of tracker on your site so that at least you know how many people are visiting, where they are from etc? Not that it would 'stop' anything bad from happening but it might make you feel a little more in control and aware..just a thought. Happiness in every way to you! And thanks for your blog. Jess :)
ReplyDeletets good to read mama bear, smiles here always : )
ReplyDeleteWeekend days are great help in forgetting -at least for a while- our worries. Enjoy it with your two loves!
ReplyDeleteAs a worrying Sydney-dweller who has very recently started a blog of my own, it's wonderful to read the personal experiences of others and have an insight into the lives of people we only "know" from their postings. I quite understand the worries (and am sure I would share them were I to have kids of my own) - still, am finding that line between the personal and the intended ideas a tricky one sometimes, and that the blog sometimes has a mind of its own. Always enjoy reading yours :)
ReplyDeleteDear Anna,
ReplyDeleteI'm one of those completely strangers who read your blog. My name is Júlia, I'm (almost) 25 and from Barcelona, Spain.
I love to come here and see the beautiful photos, and read about your experiences with your baby. I love how you share things with us, your readers. I do understand your concern (I have a "public" blog and a "private" one for now). As someone commented yesterday, there are strange people on-line, but also in real life. And I'm sure if one day I have such beautiful things to share, like you, I will gladly do so in an open blog. Of course, always being careful with what photos I post, etc.
Anyway, I just wanted to thank you, like so many have done, for making my day a little better. You are a truly inspiring person. :)
(excuse my English!)
Hi Anna,
ReplyDeleteMy name is Kitty & I live with my husband & one month old son in country vic.
I read your post yesterday & have been wanting to comment... but the wee babe had other ideas.
I too started my blog for friends & family & from there it grew to include complete strangers. Many of which I have now met in real life & are wonderful, inspiring women.
You expressed concerns that I believe alot of us have, we all want to protect ourselves & those close to us.
I do hope that only good things come to you & your sweet family.
Thank you for sharing snippets of your journey with us. You inspire me to take more photos of my boys, take more walks & buy a pair of brogues!
Thanks again.
Kitty x
I love your brogues! And pink, I adore pink!
ReplyDeletei am a bit sad that you were/are thinking of letting go of this. i am new to blogging and have found a world where people are brave enough to share their life and inspire others. you are so right that these feelings are baby related. i was a mummy beast when it came to protecting my son. not to the point of not letting others hold him.. i was very happy with that. it was that underlying feeling of 'if anyone hurts him i will pull their head off'...sounds crazy...but mummy beast it was. the worry and being protective is part animal and part human. The instinct subsides and the worry left over is i expect... being a parent...it will lasts a lifetime now .. you are a mummy. It makes you realise how much our parents love and loved us. isn't it lovely.. :)
ReplyDeletei discovered your beautiful belly online ... and thought 'how brave'.. 'how beautiful'. i love that you were brave enough to have a home birth, i love the way you write, your illustrations and your photos. i discovered your polish background and came to australia at the same time as me... and that you are also a designer.. it was enough for me to keep reading. . you are a delight.. please keep going..
ewa x
these photos are all gorgeous, I think my favorite part of having an iphone is being able to take photos anywhere, at any time. And those shoes are incredible!
ReplyDeleteI am a chronic worrier, my mind always goes ahead to what if, what if, what if - it's hard to quiet the thoughts.
But I am ever so happy you'll continue here, as I adore your photos and reading about your life!
Hello
ReplyDeleteI stumbled across your blog this week and must say that you write beautifully. I find your posts very inspiring. Lovely to have encountered another like-minded Aussie!
Please don't stop blogging. What you have to share is important.
Thank you. Love your stuff.
http://www.themegohara.org/blog/
i wanted to say thanks for sharing too. i really like reading your blog and seeing your beautiful photos.
ReplyDeletelooking forward to hearing about your exciting projects, and hope more good things come your way. best wishes to you bears!
ps. i love your shoes, have been eyeing off some similar ones on the interwebs
hi anna so glad you will keep blogging, i love the style of your writing and pictures. both very special. your blogg has been one of the very fews that i kept reading over the months. :)
ReplyDeletexx irina
I've only recently started reading your blog and am really pleased that you will be keeping it up! I can see I'm not the only one who enjoys your honesty, and it's giving me a tiny insight into what lies ahead for us as we await the arrival of our first baby. So many little milestones to come.
ReplyDeletemmmm... its a really hard thing to grapple with. i have been doing the same with my oh so infequently attended to blog... a friend just told me that even if you do pull stuff down it is stilled accessible if a reader knows the date of your original post! forever inscibed in cybespace! well anna, you can be sure that you and your blog will be lovingly remembered by all here.
ReplyDeletexx tali
thanks for sharing your thoughts, photos, stories and feelings...I have loved your blog since I saw you on Marvelous Kiddo & Cup of Jo. You help me feel connected to Australia...I lived in Manly for 7 months after university and I just loved loved loved my time there. Thanks for bringing me into your world down under.
ReplyDeletea little about me: I love my life in Venice Beach, Los Angeles, with my lovely boyfriend and a job at a nonprofit foundation.