The last couple of days I've been having doubts about this blog.
Last year I started this space to keep my friends overseas and interstate updated on my new life in Sydney.
Since then, it's grown and I've had the blessing of meeting like-minded people all around the world. Reading blogs inspires me so much and I love the thought that sometimes I may inspire others, too. I love reading all of your comments. I get so much joy and support from the words of people I have never met, but feel connected to in some way.
Initially when I realised that there were more people reading this than just my family and friends, I felt nervous about some of my posts. Are they blog worthy? Will people find them boring? Will they think I'm silly for posting certain things? I told myself that I wouldn't worry about this and that I would always keep the blog honest, true and (mainly) positive.
But lately other thoughts about blogging have crept into my mind. Bad ones. Is it safe to post pictures of my child on the internet? Am I not discreet enough about our location? I know that everyone that reads this is a good and honest person, but I also know that there must be some weirdo's out there and the thought of them looking at my little girl makes me sick. I can't even continue that train of thought. PB pointed out to me that there are weirdo's in real life too, and you can't live life being afraid. This is true, but if anything bad ever happened, I would never ever forgive myself.
This post is grim, I know. But I can't apologise because I promised I would be true and honest, and I don't think I could write anything else without sharing this first.
iPhone pictures from this morning's walk. No matter how often I see them I love a good shoe photo.
I read all your post and I love them so much. Your little girl is beauteful and sometimes I want to have baby with my husband too (but we are too young for that, I think).
ReplyDeleteAnd don't worry about bloging and about peoples who read your blog: everything will be ok. ;)
P.S. Sorry for my English.
My approach to blogging changed when I had my daughter. I stopped posting photos, moved to pseudonyms and codenames, or intitals - became less open and frank in my discussion etc
ReplyDeletePart of me is glad that my blog is a bit less-open, and protective of her - but part of me misses the freedom of my old blog and a bigger part of me LOVES reading blogs like your very open one, and those of my friends, and I wonder am I just a bit over-anxious...
Having said that, she is my daughter and I owe it to her to protect her identity.
Perhaps you could have passworded entries for close friends, family and such... Being the lurker that I am, I will be sad not to see the beautiful pictures but understand that a Mumma does as a Mumma needs to do.
Anyway, thanks for sharing what you have so far.
htpp://aluminium.tabulas.com
I understand your thinking - I think it's best to combine trust in the community with a bit of safety and if you feel uneasy, trust your instincts! I love your photos by the way!
ReplyDeleteI have the same thoughts at least every week. I've talked to Hubby about it all too.
ReplyDeleteAnd we decided that there will be weird people in the real world too...
Anyways... I can't put my thoughts together properly tonight so will leave it be.
But big hugs, and I know how you feel.
I would miss you if you weren't here... and I do hope you stay. x
Hi Anna
ReplyDeleteI love your blog and I'd be so sad if you stopped updating it. A few days ago though I looked through some of the comments on one of your posts where someone mentioned where she thought you lived in sydney and I went - yowser, if that was me(ie writing this blog) I'd be a bit pissed off! Someone's just blown my cover. i guess this world is changing so rapidly the boundaries sometimes between real life and cyber life seem blurred so I can definitely understand your anxiousness. Thing is though, if your blog has brought you good things thus far perhaps continue to cherish those - It is said we bring about what we think about...and that like attracts like so continue thinking positively! If moderating somethings makes you sleep better at night maybe consider that too. Here's to your continued inspiration, happiness and best decision making capabilities!
hello lovely! well you know my personal story, hey I shouted it out to the whole world. But I still place images of my children on my blog. I know there are crazy people everywhere in cyber world and in the real world. You just need to choose what images you use.
ReplyDeletewriting leaves you feeling naked, there is no doubt about that, but I can see you are like me and when people talk back to you and they listen to you then you seem to feel less naked.
I also feel that readership builds as people like to feel they are normal, they have someone to aspire to, or they may like to see how others live. Mostly you will find your readers are parents, or want to be and just love seeing what you get up to. For me it allows me to escape my world for a little while and come over to yours. If it makes you feel any better, it is a lovely place to be!
Take care MB xx
ps... sorry for long comment, but wanted to give you some comfort... x
man.. i have second thoughts about posting photos of my daughter & well, my personal life in general every second day.. but i guess for me i decided that that's what blogging is all about. i love your visually beautiful & honest blog & always perk up when i see it pop up in my google reader :) i think we can all relate to your concerns and fears about weirdos.. i don't have any answers there. if it helps, i don't know anyone who has had a weird experience from the blogging world other than the odd comment here or there. sending you lots of positive vibes from melbourne. x captain
ReplyDeleteit's a tough one isn't it.
ReplyDeletewe were talking about this at playgroup the other day - children used to walk home from school by themselves and now it doesn't happened because we're fearful of predators. but statistics show that there are no more predators than there were thirty years ago, it's just that we all seem to live in fear now.
fear of our child's safety, fear of the big wide world, fear of nature, fear of birth.
we are a fearful society and i suppose it's a personal choice as to whether we change our lives because of that.
i often think of the honesty on my blog - the photos of che and the 'advertising' of where i work and where we live. sure it may be a risk but i do get so much enjoyment from my blog. and if i hadn't have started it i wouldn't have met a lot of people - including you!
but i do worry. every so often the thought crosses my mind and i feel sick.
keep thinking about it and do what feels best. because that is what is important.
I love your blog so much, it's a strange thing really, just popping in every day to see how you are going when we've never met and I don't have a blog to share with you in return. The selfish part of me does not want you to stop this blog but if you are feeling this way, especially about your beautiful girl's safety then I think you might need to stop or change it in some way until you feel comfortable again. Your mummy instincts need to be listened to xxx
ReplyDeleteDear Anna,
ReplyDeletewhen my child was born, I promise to myself not to show her photos openly in the internet. The reason mostly is she may not like it in a several years. It's her face, her privacy and I want her to decide later if she wants to show people some cute faces from her early days. Sometimes it's hard for me since my baby is a beauty (whose isn't :-)) and I really want to show her to the whole world.
Paradoxally, I mostly afraid of my family in the internet, not the strangers. Sad but true.
PS I'm from Poland, nice to know your origins :-)
hi Anna,
ReplyDeleteI sometimes wish I could post full frontal photos of my three boys (or clear faces) but I've decided not to. I have another private blog (multiply) created a long time ago to keep my family and close friends updated about us when we moved to aus. it used to be "open" for years--anyone can access them. then I had a visitor (you could see the avatar/photo) and it was scary (photo was of gymnast boys lined up on a barre) and the location of the blogger was contradictory. the name was also very telling that I thought of someone trawling the net who liked kids. right then and there I spent hours changing each album, each post to restrict them to my contacts.
I don't want to spook you and I am the type of person who views the world as inherently good esp prior to my move to aus. even now I let slip bits about our general location tho i know I shouldn't. but I feel very strongly now about not showing my boys faces clearly. whatever you do, you trust your gut feel--whether it's from a parenting book etc. you will know what to do instinctively.
Hi Anna. I stumbled across your blog just before your baby was born and am one of those strangers you mention. Just wanted to let you know what joy your blog brings to someone who doesn't even know you. Your honesty, pictures and approach to new motherhood are inspiring and even though I understand your concerns about your family's safety and privacy, blogland would be a little empty without your musings. I am hoping to have my first little one this year and watching your journey has already made me think about the way my life will hopefully change and the challenges a wee one will bring along with the joy. I follow a few blogs but your is the only one based in my hometown so it is also great to see a bit of Sydney feature along with your adventures. I sincerely hope you decide you can feel safe continung but of course would totally understand if you down tools. Either way great to read thus far.
ReplyDeleteI love your blog and your entries are really sweet and delightful as are your photos. I blog too but my main inspiration was to share crafty stories and things i make. I don't post photos of my kids much and their names aren't used. Perhaps one day I will put photos of them up, or use names, but for now I haven't and I'm happy with that. I know that some bloggers restrict entries to only family or friends, so this may be an option for you. Motherhood brings along a sense of deep obligation to protect our greatest treasure and I think no-one will object to you making any decision based on wanting to protect your beautiful daughter.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your honesty.
Hi Anna (i'll write it in english now ;)), i have these kind of thoughts every day, I decided to write a blog for my family and friends who are very far and at the beginning I wanted to set up a password for it (still not too sure about it actually), but in fact if we all did it I would never get a chance to come over your blog and actually its openness is the best thing about it.
ReplyDeleteAs a mother however I understand your concerns and still think it can be a little bit dangerous to post photos etc… I guess it’s about taking risk, if you don’t do it you don’t get a chance to win!
Oh yes these thoughts.
ReplyDeleteLike you I started my blog for family and friends to join us on our journey to Australia. I love hearing and connecting with so many individuals who read and have begun to care for my family. It is such an amazing community of people.
It would be really hard for me to not show photos of my children's faces or speak of them by name. My blog is also a space for me to return back to someday and enjoy just as I do now. I really don't want fear to take it over.
I feel as though the chances of some weirdo actually coming across it and then actually living anywhere near us is so slim. I am also almost positive my crafting would bore them to death. Sadly, there are really horrific places online that I think these weirdos gravitate to much more.
I hear you though. It is a freighting thought. It definitely gets to Michael more than me, so if someday he wants me to stop and make it private than that is exactly what we will do.
I have been very hesitant about personal information on my blog, as well. I also started it for friends & family and now a sea of strangers read it, every day. I haven't had any bad feedback or strange instances, but it's always in the back of my mind, as well. If we had kids, I'm sure I'd feel even more so.
ReplyDeleteI would just set your standards for privacy and stick with them. I don't talk about where we work, specifically what city we're in, or last names. It has also made me a bit uncomfortable in the past that random people from my blog were finding me on facebook and adding me, when I never linked it or mentioned my last name anywhere. So I've also had to make it clear that my blog is the only place where I interact with my blog friends, and facebook is private for only my friends & family. Whatever you decide to do, the decision will be yours so stick with and stand firm. I can tell you though, that I have a feeling no creepers are actually reading your blog. It seems like you have a really wonderful and supporting crowd of followers. :)
I think it's great that you shared your thoughts and they are so normal for a new mother who just wants to protect her child and family. Just stick with what your gut says and make little changes here and there to make you feel safer/better about what you put on the blog. I am the same way about being worried that there is a creepy person out there who is going to somehow find me and do something bad. When I go on vacation I am hesitant to say so on the blog because I think someone is going to rob my home or something! So you aren't alone in having those sorts of thoughts.
ReplyDeleteI get so much enjoyment out of your blog and hearing about your beautiful life. You seem like such a wonderful person/wife/mother and whatever you decide to do with the blog (I'd miss it terribly!) I wish you tons of happiness!
just breathe girl. your heart will show you the way. and if it sounds repeated, then so it shall be!
ReplyDeleteu rock !
hmm, i share your feelings and my blog is essentially anonymous because of it. However, mine is a fear of those threats I already know, not the ones lurking that I don't. privacy & secrecy are not the same thing and I think, sometimes, it's best to be brave in spite of it all.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a mother so I can't exactly relate to what you are going through but I think I can understand why you'd be nervous. I love reading your blog and seeing all of your photos (your iPhone takes great ones!) and would be really sad if you stopped posting. Yours is one of the few I make sure to check every day. You have to do what's best for you and your family though. Perhaps you could try to be more discreet about posting things that may lead strange readers to find out where you live. Other than that I think everything else you post is fine!
ReplyDeleteso understand where you are at, i would love to share pics of my babes on my blog, did for a bit, then decided to stop & keep things vague with hints of our family life, you just never know, i believe in the good of the world but you actually just never ever know, so rather be cautious, share but cautiously - your openess, honesty & amazing eye for detail is so refreshing, you'll figure a way to do it that makes you happy.
ReplyDeletex
Aww, I hope you still post...but do what's best for you and the fam.
ReplyDeleteI love your honesty. Your photography shows it so well.
Whatever you decide, I'm always fan. :)
I understand your thinking too, and have similar thoughts often. Remember to trust your instincts and your gut. I love reading about your life and all your pictures, and all of them are blog worthy in my opinion :)
ReplyDeleteHey there, like your post. Felt the same when my little girl arrived, and decided to only post a little about her, not too many pictures. That's it about protection. SO many thing could happen to us and don't, I'm positive we're protected and safe :)
ReplyDeleteI understand what you mean. I think as long as you don't away a lot of information, you should be fine!
ReplyDeleteI hear you, Anna, I've been struglling with this lately.My blog started as a photo repository for family and friends, when we moved just after we had Ivy. Slowly it became my space to record my feelings and thoughts about everyday life, as well as document our growing family.
ReplyDeleteFrom my blog I began writing columns and then I got to this point where I have a very open discussion about our family life- photos, real names, everything.
It just sort-of happened.But increasingly I'm torn.Is it my right to decide what parts of my childrens lives aer public? At what point is it their decision?
I don't know what to do. I'm contemplating going back and changing names to nicknames, removing identifying pics, etc.
Another part of me thinks that it's a sort of Gen-X worry- that life these days is lived online as a matter of course, and perhaps the dangers are much more real in the actual world.
I don't know.
It is a tough one as though your freedom of expression if being hampered by a few seedy people out there. I posted my first ever full shot of my little man the other day and alluded to my fear of cyber stalkers etc. Your blog is a very popular one largely due to its honesty and gorgeous photos, so I guess you have to weigh that up vs your need to protect dear Rosie. Perhaps look at minimising sharing of personal information and full face shots??? Either way, I do love your thoughts and snaps xx
ReplyDeleteOh you're braver than I. I freak out when I've posted a pic of myself. I know that would add to the authenticity of my blog and the personal connection but I struggle with it. I know there's enough information there to string together information about my life ... added with my FB and Twitter account. But I do think through most of what I post and have never named my family members online, and interestingly, most people don't actually know my real name. It's not on my blog. I am probably over cautious and probably not protected at all from fraudsters and scammers, but I do try. I wouldn't open my door to people I don't know and let them walk through my house and eat with my family and I feel the same about the blog. It's like the "first impression" you get when meeting people. I have met lovely bloggers and actually emailed or chatted further with some of them and met one on a trip away when I knew I'd be in their hood. But that's about it. I really should be more trusting.
ReplyDeleteDear Anna bad thoughts will always invade our minds, that is our human nature. Its important to stop the horrible chain of thoughts and believe that everything is fine and nothing bad will ever happen. Fear is paralyzing and can stop us from doing amazing things - your blog is wonderful and I believe that something great rather than bad will come to you from writing it.
ReplyDeletelike others, i thoroughly enjoy your blog. i don't know you in person, and stumbled across your blog via jodi's (who i don't know in person either).
ReplyDeleteit is a tough one. i guess it depends what angle you are coming from. i have seen people have their blogs completely frauded from them - one of the blogs i loved reading had her photos added to facebook by someone else, claiming they were her children. that kind of thing is scary. needless to say, she is no longer blogging. a sad sad shame. she was talented and creative and extremely inspirational to others.
your blog offers insight and beautiful honesty in to the life of a new mother and creative person. if you choose to change the way you post, some of that honesty will be lost. if you are happy with that then that is ok. if however, you are using your blog as a way of storing precious moments and memories for prosperity then you may look back upon it and feel you have deprived yourself of some of the real/raw/ true ones.
the other option is to lock it and use a password. this way you control who reads. i am sure many a reader will appeal for you to let them read. that way, you make the call.
personally i don't think you give too much away. there is probably some hints and clues for location based on places you visit, but you could easily elude to them rather than directly state them.
i hope you continue to blog. i really enjoy it. there is a lot of very average blogs out there and yours definately outshines them in so many ways. i feel a lot of that has to do with your honesty.
good luck with your decision. decisions regarding our children are always tough.i will be requesting a password if you decide to lock it!
phew! still reading? :)
Hi Anna, I was introduced to your blog through a link to your wedding, which I realized was in my old suburb - I now live in Perth. And then was reintroduced through Jo's link to your belly shot. I drop by from time to time and this post has made me realize I really should introduce myself.
ReplyDeleteSo hi, my name is Skye and I live in Perth. Thanks for reconnecting me to my old Sydney life and I really understand if you wanted to protect you and yours from the outside world. But I just wanted to say Thanks while I had the chance (incase you do retreat!).
Hi Anna,
ReplyDeleteI have been reading your blog for sometime and enjoy hearing updates and pounderings on your little family, and relate to your life as a new mum. However I understand how scary it is when you relise you have no control whom is reading it.
I hope you find a situation, tricky though it is.
Karen
Hi Anna
ReplyDeleteI totally understand your concerns. I think the decision is ultimately what you feel is right for you and your family.
I absolutely love visiting your blog. In so many ways you enrich the lives of others just by going about your days and taking time to document the beauty in things both big and small.
Thank You for sharing such quality photos and your honest thoughts.
Much peace, light and love to you.
Monique
I think we all have those thoughts every now and again and we all struggle with out own decisions about what we write on our blogs. In the end it's a very personal choice that only you can make. I love ready about your life, I actually use to live in north Sydney and miss it every much so allot of your post give me. Glimpse of home.
ReplyDeletethis is one of the most thought provoking posts and bunch of replies I've read in sometime. perhaps I need to think more about these sorts of things myself. I think for me tho, that one has to assert their right to do the things that we should be able to do freely. riding our bikes in cities that are crowding us out etc. walking alone. the less people we see doing these things the less normal it becomes the more likely it makes us vulnerable... maybe I'm confusing the 'safety in numbers' thing a bit. but people who want to take advantage will do it in any way they can. we gotta live our lives true to what we want to do regardless I think. If our worry doesn't ruin the pleasure of it. HHmmm...
ReplyDeleteHi Anna,
ReplyDeleteI guess this is quite similar to some feelings you may have had in real life in certain occassions (maybe when you were too open to someone you hardly knew, or when you did something you really would rather have kept to yourself -at least this happens to me in 'real' life).
I come every day to your blog because I enjoy it so much, because I liked to see your advances as a mother to be, and your big advances as a new mum. And I enjoy knowing little bits of your life, and I guess that is why you have such a supporting net of readers.
But who am I to say you not to hide, when I do have some issues with privacy. I don't even have a photo in my profile!
What I think one should do is what makes her/him feeling comfortable. That's all. This is not a thing of being afraid, but of feeling comfortable. And as long as you get more worried, I guess you won't be enjoying it.
I send you a big hug from Spain.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteits a tricky one.....I do post pics of miss lulu as I figure just as PB said there are weirdo's down the street however I have used her nick name not her real name and protected her surname and I try to protect were we live too....you just don't know who is reading.
ReplyDeleteDear Anna,
ReplyDeleteNever left a comment before but read you blogg every day. Do feel that I need to introduce myself, because I understand how you feel (and because i reed it every day and you don't know me). My name is Marloes and I live in Amsterdam and have a 10 month old son Miles. My father died in a carcrash 3 weeks before my son was born and I try to be a happy and a relaxed mom. But I live in fear everyday waiting for another bad thing to happen. It still feels like the earth is shaking. What I'm trying to say is try to live your life and do what feels good for you without fear because you never know what will happen. Enjoy what makes you feel good, it will give you strength whenever the earth starts to shake. I hope my comment makes sence to you.
xxx Marloes
I'm not sure what to say since i completely understand ones need and desire to be private but the blogs that I enjoy the most Dooce, Nie Nie, etc are those that are very public. I am a very public person. But then again my blog isn't very popular and on a good day I have 3 people checking it (my uncle kindda counts as 2 :)
ReplyDeleteDear dear mama bear,
ReplyDeleteIt's just that none of us have any control about anything, so whatever YOU feel like doin' I think you should do it...
It's also all around the blogosphere, if you noticed, everybody is having doubts about their postings, styles, lives, etc.. Must be some weirdo cosmic event etc.
Lots of love from other side of the world (literally).
Oz
Mum's instinct is usually right on the money - go with your guts I say! While I'm aware that we can't live in fear - kids have parents for a good reason - if you don't look out for their best interest who will?
ReplyDeleteWe walk a fine line don't we!!
Thanks for sharing this.
xx
This year I decided not to live in fear. I started to let the 11 year olds walk to school. Last week they even rode and we let them nun up to the water tower and back as a group. They must be in a group and have my phone on them in case they have a stack. They love the freedom and responsibility. I have driven down to check within minutes of them leaving but are relaxing more. I know cyber world is different but essentially do we want to live in petrie dishes or live life fully. In my experience it's often the most over protected children that get into strife because they have no life experience or resourcefulness. You seem pretty sane . Just do what you want with some safety nets in place but don't miss out on the ride because of an unknown. Did you ever see " Cold Comfort Farm where they live their lives in fear of the "something nasty in the woodshed" and then find after years that it doesn't exist
ReplyDeleteMama Bear,
ReplyDeletePlease keep posting! Your blog is one of my daily reads. Every morning I wonder what fantastic things you have posted. Would be really sad if you stop posting about BB :-(
Hope all is well.
hey Anna,
ReplyDeletei'm a little late to this, but thought i'd let you know what i think. well, i blog about Iris quite a lot. i have been vague(ish) about where we live. i don't worry about it very much.
however, i understand your worries, and there is nothing like early motherhood when you feel SO protective (as you should) of your little one. i suppose perhaps your boundaries are changing, as BB grows, and if you do feel uncomfortable about the amount of images or information you are posting, then you are in control, you can decide. and i'm pretty sure we'll still be here.
thank you for sharing what you have with us so far. your photos are beautiful, as is your family. and i love seeing the world through your eyes.
ReplyDeleteI sometimes worry about this same thing! I don't have kids yet, though. I do try to be careful about not identifying where exactly I live and not posting my last name...but I wish I felt more free.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoy your blog, though! I found it through those lovely belly shots that were posted on Cup of Jo. I hope you continue to post here and feel good about it!
We're expecting our first baby this year so it has been lovely to read about the quirky parts, everyday fears and beautiful moments of being a mum. I'm a web designer and my partner is a chef too so I feel like I can relate to your blog even more! Your posts are a great source of inspiration because they're real and aren't glossy marketing babble.
ReplyDeleteBeing a web designer I always wonder just how big, bad and ugly the web world is. I always come to the conclusion that in the grand scheme of things we are just a speck in the internet galaxy.
Thanks for sharing!
Hi Anna! My name is Anna too. I just found your blog through a link on Cup of Jo and I am going to follow you as well. You and your little family are so sweet. I wouldn't worry about weirdos seeing pictures of your baby; it's probably no different than someone habitually seeing you around the neighborhood or wherever. I like seeing the world through your eyes and hope you'll continue to post!
ReplyDeleteAnna
San Francisco
I'm relatively new to your blog, having discovered you after your wedding was featured on one of the wedding blogs I follow (can't recall which one off the top of my head). And I can identify with what you said:
ReplyDeleteInitially when I realised that there were more people reading this than just my family and friends, I felt nervous about some of my posts. Are they blog worthy? Will people find them boring? Will they think I'm silly for posting certain things? I told myself that I wouldn't worry about this and that I would always keep the blog honest, true and (mainly) positive.
I've blogged off and on over the last few years, and have found myself self-censoring at times, or keeping my blog off the public search engines for this reason. These things are interesting to me, my friends and family, but do I want to hear from folks who think my thoughts are stupid? I still struggle with that, especially with my wedding blog. Do I make it public out of curiosity's sake, or keep a 'word of mouth' thing with it?
As for the bad thoughts creeping in, I'm not a mom yet, so I can't identify with the fear of someone stalking you, PB and BB. Even though there are weirdos out there, a cautiously optimistic part of my brain hopes that the vast majority of folks are decent and that it's important to embrace life rather than fear it.
Anyway, I've been mulling over my response to this post for a while, having bookmarked it and re-reading it multiple times.
It's nice to meet you and I'm glad to have found your blog. Your photography is beautiful, and I love your writing style. :)
hello,
ReplyDeletei've recently stumbled across your blog and i love reading it, and looking at your pictures. your daughter is truly adorable.
I started a blog, but chickened out and made it private. I guess I'm still scared because I want to know exactly who is looking at pictures of my children. I'm afraid of the unknown...but specifically the sickos who are out there. :P
I wish I could get over it, but can't seem to get over the hump.