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Aaaah... Karen Walker. I don't need any of your clothes, and I'm in no position to buy any of your clothes, but it's so nice to look.

I was tidying up today and saw The Box of non-pregnancy appropriate clothing and got excited at opening it in a few months. But then I though – what about breast feeding? Eeek. That's something I hadn't considered. I guess there are still so many things I have to learn about being a mother. Big things and little things, and some things I won't think about until they creep up on me unexpectedly.

I get overwhelmed easily sometimes, but PB is great at calming me with his kind and logical words. My mind tends to jump to the future, imagining situations that are yet to happen, whilst his stays in the present moment and focuses on the task at hand.

So back to the task at hand... not worrying about it for now allowing myself to deal with it when the time comes. 

PS. In saying that, any tips on breast-feeding appropriate clothing will be taken aboard gratefully!

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I love these little cards by John Dilnot. They used to hang in my room, but I took them down to use the frame for something else.

It's been another funny old day, nothing achieved other than 2 swims, an hour of yoga and an afternoon nap. PB works triple shifts on the weekends and I end up missing him lots, perhaps that sounds melodramatic but for now that's how it is. 

Yesterday I managed to contort myself to paint my toenails, then realised it probably wasn't a good idea to draw more attention to my chubby feet. Mostly I'm feeling good, but am now beginning to feel a little awkward with everyday manouvres, like getting in and out of a car or leaning over to pick something up. I also have little Baby Bear pushed hard against my bladder, so there is a large portion of my day spent tending to that. Ah, but I don't mean to complain. It's a small discomfort for something beautiful at the end.

PS. I've ordered something very special from Etsy for BB, but I'm waiting until it arrives so I can take a picture to post it up. Stay tuned!

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It's been a funny old week. I've felt quite insular and all I've really managed to focus on is my husband and our Little Bear, allowing everything else slip onto a new to-do list for next week. Yesterday PB and I drove up to a stormy Central Coast to meet Jodi for a private yoga and birth class. This is the first friend I've met from Blogland, and I feel grateful that our paths have crossed. Not only is Jodi a pleasure to be around, she also shared with us her knowledge and experience of birth, which will all assist in little Baby Bear's arrival into the world.

I feel like I'm pretty well prepared now, albeit for something I can never be prepared for. All I can do is let go of any expectations and just surrender to what my body is doing. Thank you Jodi, and everyone else that has supported us along the way. x

PS. For any Sydney/NSW mama's out there, I can really recommend doing the class. More information here.

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There are three things that are traditional to an Australia Day celebration – water to swim in, a barbeque and the Triple J Hottest 100 Countdown.

It was hot today and people were out in their masses. I hung out at a quiet bbq with some good friends, and met Little Grandma – an inspiring woman who at 92 busted out some very impressive swim strokes in the pool.

Today also marks our 2 year anniversary. A couple of years ago, PB and I met at a dodgy Australia Day party in London, became friends and never looked back. I can honestly say they've been the best couple of years ever, and he's made me one happy lady.

Happy Australia Day everyone

and I love you Papa Bear, thanks for everything. x

PS. The last shot is also this weeks Bumpday photo (albeit a day early). We tried to do it the next day but the weather was so miserable we were uninspired! Bump is now 33 weeks old. Thanks to Chlo for taking the photo.

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I've just returned home from a substantial baby shop. It feels good to have started gathering essentials for bub's arrival, and I'm happy that I've stuck to my guns about only getting the most basic things, without the bells and whistles but in the best quality I can afford. It's so exciting to see baby things strewn on the floor, and makes it feel even more real. I was reading about Jodi's veggie garden over at Che and Fidel, and how much her little boy enjoys it. I would love to be able to give this opportunity to my family one day, and every time I see Stephanie's Kitchen Garden Companion I wish I had a reason to buy it (her Cook's Companion is like the Bible at our place). At the moment we live in the loft conversion of an old house, and it is teeny tiny. For a newborn in Autumn and Winter it will be lovely and cosy, but it's too hot in the summer and it won't accommodate a crawler, so we'll have to move. We're not sure where we'll end up, we talk about possibilities but both know we won't decide until the time comes. We do know it will still be by the beach, and I hope it's somewhere I can grow a veggie garden, or at least be a step closer to doing so.

(Image from Che and Fidel)

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 Sweet little booties for sweet little feet. Papa Bear can't wait to munch on our little one's toes.

These gems by Luna Ninos are for 3 months and onwards, so I've restrained myself for now. But it was tough!

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I love The Selby

real houses, with real mess and real clutter.

We have clutter
which I like to meticulously organise
(Papa Bear calls this faffing).

There won't be much time for this soon
but holding my child
is more important
than worrying about the house.

(Images from the Selby, here and here).

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It's hot here today,

lying with my feet up and the fan on high

reading to little baby bear.

This book was mine when I was little,

one that I didn't draw over.

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We've had a fun couple of days. PB has Weds/Thurs off so it always turns out to be our weekend. A surprise swell yesterday led to a change of plans and impromptu surf. I watched my husband get smashed by 6ft waves and tried to tell myself he's been doing this since he was 12 so all shall be fine. And of course it was. He came out happy and lovely with reports of broken surfboard fins and big unidentified animals floating by.

Afterwards a drive up the Blue Mountains. Visiting some friends and their beautiful 12 week old baby girl, who was tired and grizzly but refused to miss out on the party and stayed awake looking at us through sweet blue puffy eyes.

Bumpday came and went, and we took a 32 week old belly for a swim at Jelly Bean pool on the way home. There was some jumping off rocks which neither myself nor bump participated in, but PB seemed to enjoy it.

And we stopped in a little town to find a particular second hand bookshop, but found this one instead. PB picked up a couple of bits and I hovered in the Children's section. I didn't buy anything but found a few cool books, and the owner was so lovely that when we showed an interest in the French Baroque he was listening to he took the CD out and insisted we take it for an extra $4!

That was it, another weekend over. Back at the computer with my newly found kankles sitting in a bucket of cold water. Hope you all have a lovely weekend ahead. x

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This week we've begun to embark on the shopping mission for Baby Bear's arrival.

It's hard not to get caught up but I'm trying to keep things as minimal as possible. I feel much the same about toys. I don't want to deprive our child, but I'd like to see him or her use their imagination when it comes to play, rather than being in a sea of whizzy plastic gadgets.*

Although I'm not really buying toys at the moment, I've gotten a couple of little things – just to surround Baby Bear's wee space in our room. But mostly I'm going to wait, because I don't think it's fair to decorate a space for someone I've never met yet. And we're so excited to meet you little one, not long to go now.

*For some reason, this excludes Mr.Potato head.

(All toys and images from Lark) 

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We set our alarms for 5.30

and rolled out of bed at 6

There was no surf

but the water was so warm

I couldn't help jumping in

We ate spinach and cheese rolls

from a bakery I keep hearing about

and finished it off with a coffee...

...and some very funky beach hair

Wearing your husbands shirt with your belly hanging out

in not a great look for a Monday morning

But the day was too beautiful to even care

about silly things like that

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How cool are these? Helium Eternal balloons by Clementine Henrion. Which are not filled with helium at all but are made from soft fabric and strung up invisibly by fishing line.

"I designed the Helium Eternal concept in a reminiscence of the tender age: the childhood memory of this magnificent, brightly shining balloon you proudly bring back from the park, but which will alas tragically deflate within few days… This early disappointment has influenced me to create a new interpretation of the children balloon: an ETERNAL one, which would fly forever and never go down again.'

Link via The Design Files

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I drew this about a year ago as part of a book project I did at Central St.Martins. It was only a short illustration course but I really enjoyed it, and it fell right in the colder and darker months of London so a perfect time for drawing. I'm not as inspired to draw in summer, it's too nice to be in our little loft, which accumulates heat all day long. I do like this picture though, it's loosely based on Papa Bear (from the waist up – he would never wear skinny jeans!) so I dug it out to develop it further. Maybe with colour? Maybe I could add myself? Or maybe it will sit on the table for a week before I put it away again. I guess that would be ok, too.

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I used to be a magazine junkie. I'd spend hours trying to hover inconspicuously at the newsagents, before making my selection of what to purchase. Not anymore...

These days I look forward to getting Frankie – because I find the writing usually makes me laugh out loud, and Lula – for the beautiful images. Sometimes I get Russh too.

This afternoon I was in a cafe and grabbed a pile of magazines. It took me less than 5 minutes to flick through all of them. Nothing caught my eye, it was filled with models I knew nothing about, society people I cared nothing about and celebrities I've never even heard of. Have they changed? Or is it me?

It seems my attention has shifted into the virtual world, because now I can literally spend hours infront of my computer looking at blogs. Blogs with beautiful images, blogs with beautiful words and blogs with beautiful ideas. The last couple of days I've been lucky to receive lovely messages from lots of bloggers out there, and through that find even more to add to my every growing reading list. I would love to share all of them, but here are just a few that I've really enjoyed reading:

Che and Fidel

Le Petit Oiseau

pottymouthmama

Fat Mum Slim

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As well as having the pleasure of our bump pics being posted at Marvelous Kiddo yesterday, this morning I woke bleary eyed to the computer and found they had also made it to another one of my all time favourite blogs, A Cup of Jo. Joanna is pregnant with her first bub and was debating whether or not to wear a bikini, and was inspired by last weeks bump shots. (By the way – Joanna would look super-gorgeous rocking her belly in a little bikini!)

The truth is, although I'm happy with what nature gave me, one of those things was not a flat stomach. When I was a bit younger it was something I was a tad self-conscious about. Without sounding conceited, I've never felt happier with my body than I do now, and I feel the best when I'm at the beach in the water. I'm now managing to swim 20 laps!! (And taking every opportunity to boast about it!) More importantly though, because of this little cherub growing inside me I don't really care what my body looks like afterwards, and hopefully next summer I'll be rocking my bikini proudly with the extra stretchy saggy bits.

Thank you to Joanna and Leigh for putting the bump up, and thank you to everyone that left lovely comments as well as supportive messages about our planned homebirth. One of the great comments I read on Joanna's blog was about a Brazilian actress called Leila Diniz, who in the 60's during a time of repression shocked the entire country by showing her baby belly in a bikini. Apparently she was considered vulgar by women of her time, but I think she looks beautiful and so calm in this image, which became a symbol of feminine revolution in Brazil. 

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Bumpday again! 31 weeks (and one day, we're a bit late this week). Sydney has had rather uninspiring weather so we took Bump down to Luna Park this evening to try and lighten up a grey sky. I'm feeling a bit tired so was a bit grumpy, but made it through with some fabulous direction from PB.

I also had the surprise and pleasure of having bump photos up on one of my favourite blogs, Marvelous Kiddo. PB and I are feeling pretty chuffed, especially seeing as Leigh's birth story was one of the things to move us to have a homebirth. A big thank you to Mama Marvelous Kiddo and everyone that has left lovely comments. xx

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These were done by PB when he was little. How cool is that kookaburra? I've framed it to hang on our wall, much to PB's dismay I'm afraid.

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On the weekend PB and I went down to Bowral to attend our Calmbirth course. It was devised and run by Peter Jackson, a lovely guy who worked for many years as a midwife. It reinforced our belief that our bodies and babies are beautifully made for birthing, and unless there is a medical reason they should be allowed to do so without labour management or intervention. One of Peter's main focuses was on how a mother's beliefs and attitude contribute to a positive or negative experience of birth, and how fear may be a cause of pain. For example, when we are scared we go into Fight or Flight mode and our blood is pumped to our arms and legs so that we may use them to protect ourselves with or run away. This means that our energy is going out to our limbs and during childbirth we need it in the muscle that is doing all the hard work, the uterus! So by diverting this blood and energy we are causing resistance in the uterus, which may bring on pain, and then with pain may come more fear and the cycle starts again. Makes sense right?

There were many other interesting facts we learned, but on the whole the most important thing I took away was that it's not just me doing this. I'll be doing most of the physical stuff, but it's a huge team effort with the three of us. PB has a huge job in supporting me throughout and even Baby has quite a lot of it's own work to do!

The whole course was really amazing and I would definitely recommend it to anyone who is about to give birth, regardless whether it was at home or in a hospital.

As a quick aside we stayed in this really cool B&B called Chelsea Park, an awesome 1940's mansion filled with original furniture, and a lovely owner who was just on the right side of quirky. There were lots of beautiful dressers and cabinets, and extra touches like feather boa's and vintage perfume bottles. Only took a few snaps as we were in a bit of a rush:

On the Sunday morning we got up early to go for a quick walk by the river, where we witnessed a duck sitting in a tree pretending to be a kookaburra. No kidding! It was making that noise a kookaburra makes right before it breaks out into a full-blown bellow. (For those of you not in Oz that have never had the pleasure of hearing it, it's quite the sound!)

I'm not sure if this particular type of duck is just partial to sitting in trees and gurgling, or if this little guy was abandoned at birth, raised by a group of kookaburra's and is living a slightly confused life. Either way he seemed like one happy duck!