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I was recently introduced to the illustrations of Richard Scarry by my friend Madeleine. (You should check out her Lowly Worm cake.) Last week I ordered the book I Am A Bunny from the awesome We Heart Books website. It arrived a couple of days ago, and with it there was a gorgeous little present for BB – some paper bunting made from vintage Golden Books. (Thanks Lou!)

A very apt gift I think, as you can see from the last picture. (Which believe it or not, was not staged at all).

PS. Those overalls are taking a break and are now in the wash. It's sad, I know.

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{this moment} – A Friday ritual. A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. – SouleMama

Baby Bear meets Tiny.

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Crappy day.
Happy jeans.

(And happy overalls for BB. Thanks Jillian. xx)

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Thank you so much for your sweet comments about my bad day yesterday. I'm glad it is over.

Today is definitely better. Because today the courier-man dropped off my new yellow jeans (!!!!) Which I picked up from your suggestions at the outnet, massively, massively reduced. I have bought books and CD's online before, and clothes for BB but never clothes for myself. When I buy jeans it usually involves trying on at least a dozen or so pairs, a dozen or so times. This... was a risk.

A risk that certainly paid off. They fit me perfectly! I'm sure when PB returns home from work he will have one thing to say. As Atticus said to Jem in one of our all-time favourite books:

"Do not let this inspire you to further glory".

EDIT: PB wanted me to point out that the actual quote is "Do not let this inspire you to further glory, Jeremy". (Except my name is obviously not Jeremy.)

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Today was as bad as yesterday was good.

A series of events – some more insignificant than others – ensured that by the afternoon I was ready to curl up in my bed and wait for tomorrow. Something I am quickly learning, that as a parent you cannot do.

To cheer myself up I grabbed the camera and headed out for a walk. I would take a picture of something that made me smile.

Unfortunately nothing was working, other than a couple of old ladies BB flashed her gummies at. One of them told me that these days babies are much cuter. Hers weren't as cute. That made me giggle but I couldn't really explain to them that I have this blog and I was on a photo excursion and could I please take their picture.

So that's it. A rather grim post and I do apologise. I'm feeling much better now. Partly because it's almost bedtime and partly because I had a mammoth dance-a-thon to Beirut earlier on. It's amazing how quickly and easily some accordion music cheers me up.

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{this moment} – A Friday ritual. A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. – SouleMama

Turn a lamp on, sneak in. Hold my breath and try not to shake the camera. 

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We found a new cafe on our travels this morning. An ideal spot for a slew of silly photos. They make awesome coffee, too.

Outpost Espresso
996E Pittwater Rd (cnr Anzac Avenue)
Collaroy
Open Mon-Sat 7am-3pm

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There are times when I don't know what to post here. Photographs and words do not come together into one coherent story. Clearly, this is one of those times. I should be working but I have taken a break to tell you (procrastinate) what we are up to this week. Working. Relaxing. Making new friends. Hanging out with old ones. Eating baked quinces for dessert. Those of us that are small enough are taking warm baths in large buckets. I also have a strong need for a pair of yellow jeans. Is that wrong? It's because of this image. If anyone knows where to get something similar I will be forever grateful for the hot tip.

PS. Regarding bath time safety. Yes, I did have a firm hold of BB in this photo. I took my arms out while she balanced for a second and PB snapped it from above. She loves the water. And I love that she loves it.

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I feel like I'm at the tail end of a tough couple of weeks. Work is beginning to flow better, my energy levels are slowly rising and at least one part of each day is spent lurking in a cafe with a friend or husband. This time of year our meals celebrate a different roast vegetable every night, cream gets smuggled onto the morning's porridge and afternoon naps in the sunshine can be taken guilt free.

In the background my workload is piling up, and we're planning on moving soon so chaos will start again shortly. I'm making the most of the rest period while it's here.

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This rather badly photographed crane was my recent purchase at Pulp Life. It is handmade from vintage fabric scraps by Free Range Baby. I didn't realise they made clothes until I just looked them up now for the link. I'm pretty happy I found them! I think the pale blue bubble romper is my favourite, but they're all so sweet. See more in their Etsy store.

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{this moment} – A Friday ritual. A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. – SouleMama

PS. I didn't get a chance to photograph yesterday's purchase. Will try to do it tomorrow.

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I have stocked up on vitamins and iron. Thank you for reminding me. I had run out of supplements and didn't realise that yes, I probably needed more.

Last night I tucked myself up in bed early and put on a DVD. Something I used to love doing and have not done enough lately. I watched A Single Man. Have you seen it? I loved it. It was brilliant. One of the most beautiful films I've seen in a long time. For me this is the kind of film I could watch over and over again.

And today, I finally went to Pulp Life. I met Hayley and Taj there and we walked around ooohing and aaaahing, trying on silly glasses and fictitiously planning what we would have in our houses and where.  Seriously, I could have bought everything in that store. I am still coveting a certain teapot and some sandals.

I did not leave empty handed though, I will share what I bought tomorrow. For now, goodnight! xx

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Posting has been light this week. For the first time since becoming a mother, I feel tired. Really tired.

I've started freelancing again – a little – from home. This is great. It really is. But I have not yet found my rhythm and how to do this efficiently, and as a result I'm staying up very late to get my work done. This means I have little energy the following day and end up falling asleep every time I feed BB. We're all out of whack. BB is needing the boobie at night more than ever. Thankfully we're co-sleeping, but until I go to bed an lay next to her she will stir every half hour or so.

If you're a new mother, you're supposed to feel tired. Right? I was always a morning person. Disgustingly chirpy. I'm not accustomed to not being that person anymore. It's hard for me to deal with cemented bones during the process of waking up.

I've gone back to decaf too. The act of leaving the house for half an hour and getting a coffee – even without the caffeine – re-energises me. If I could, I would sit in cafe's with these two all day long.

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Yesterday I caught up with my mate Hayley. A new friend, but also an old friend. (I can't take credit for that, those are her words).

We have gotten into a little ritual of a Sunday morning breakfast near my house. It's a good ritual to have. She has two little people, and yesterday she brought them both along. I was feeling very ambitious, and attempted to take a foot photo of all five of us. My old friend and I both love foot photos. And she has new red connies, so it seemed a necessary thing to do. Getting 5 pairs of big and small feet into one picture is hard, as you can see from the result. It was fun though, even if little BB spent most of her time getting smooshed by her buddies.

In this ritual, after our breakfast we walk to the park. Normally we just mooch, but yesterday we were trying to get there before the kidlets got tired, and it seemed to take forever. Things always take longer when you're actively waiting for them to happen, don't you think?

We hung out and pretended to be park mums. While we were there we had a serious case of shoe envy, from another mum. She had silver connies. The world of playground fashion... it's brutal.  I'm a total impostor in this environment. I don't have a child that is big enough for any of the equipment. I can't open the childproof gate properly. And maneuvering the buggy? Urgh. We have joked about getting me some L plates for that thing. It would be a wise decision. For my safety and the safety of those around me.

Jokes aside, it's nice that after a year of being in Sydney I finally have some friends I can call my own. Mums and non mums, but people that ride my wave. And to have these rituals again? These meetings that are a given and don't even have to be organised? Well, that's just awesome. Totally awesome.

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Yesterday we got ourselves a rocking chair. We have always talked about getting one, but it's kind of a big thing to buy (in size and cost) and we weren't sure if BB would dig it. The other day I was flipping through the paper and saw an ad for Replica Eames Rocker, on sale. I have always coveted these chairs but at the moment an original is out of our budget. We decided to go and check out this fakey. BB seemed to like it. I felt a little bit guilty for getting a replica, but what is one to do? Is it as bad as buying a fake handbag? I hope not.

The chair has been a huge success. To get BB to sleep in the evening we used to have to carry her over our shoulder and walk around the flat. This has resulted in back pain for both of us, which isn't so cool. The last couple of nights PB has read her a couple of stories in the rocker and then put her over his shoulder and rocked her to sleep in less than 10 minutes. Success!

I was also inspired to take a monthly portrait of BB in her Eames Rocker by the lovely Captain KK. Unfortunately our space is too small to actually get the whole thing in, and I was too lazy to move the table out of the way. I'm thinking of this as a practice run for next month, which will hopefully be better.

I did manage to get this picture though, which I didn't even notice until PB pointed out that BB is flashing us the peace sign. Peace BB!

PS. BB's very cool apple jumper is by Beci Orpin's Tiny Mammoth. I bought it online at my favourite kids clothes store, Little Pinwheel. They are having a sale at the moment so go check them out!

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Today it rained. We were all ready to stay indoors and be miserable but decided to treat ourselves to a bit of cafe hopping instead.

First stop Danks Street Depot. We had a coffee and shared a brownie. (I'm back on decaf. BB wasn't digging the caffeine as much as I was...) Our ulterior motive for being there was a sale at the furniture warehouse across the street. We picked us up an Eames Rocker (replica, of course!) More on that another time.

Afterward we headed over to Bourke Street Bakery and shared a pie and a strawberry creme brulee. Seeing as we were already in the area it only seemed fitting to visit Four Ate Five. We have been dying to go there for ages, and as we were having a rather decadent little morning we thought we'd pop in and share a french toast. It's the toast that everyone raves about. It didn't disappoint! And neither did the day. (Even though I had to go and get the car twice so PB didn't get wet. I swear, he is such a wuss-bag when it comes to the rain!)

Needless to say, we had a light and healthy dinner. Roast eggplant and peppers on quinoa. It wasn't all cakes and coffees!

So that's our weekend over. Hope you all enjoy yours. xx

PS. Is anyone else excited about the return of Bonsoy?!

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Thank you all for your supportive comments on my last post. I really appreciate everyone taking the time to write something, and in some cases share some of their own experiences. I also wanted to make clear that Pen & Paper is – for us – a last resort. For the most part we are very good at communicating with each other and talking through conflict. Talking is always our first option. But there are times, every now and then, where we explode and say hurtful things. As a child I watched my parents argue and yell all the time. Perhaps this is why it's inherent in me. I want BB to see us resolving issues in a calm manner, but I don't want her exposed to some of the terrible things that get spat out during a heated argument. Perhaps if we do this for a while we will come to a point where we never feel the need to yell. Perhaps not. But for now, when tempers rise, this is a good solution.

So thanks again. It felt good to share something real, something personal. Of course we do not have an easy blissful life all of the time, but for the most part we are happy and optimistic.

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Without sounding like I'm gloating, I think I have a pretty awesome husband. I feel lucky to be married to this man I call PB.

But like most things, marriages take some work and effort. For the most part we are a solid little team. Best buddies. Lovers. Parents. Jokesters. Serious Talkers. Silly Dancers. Dynamic House Cleaning Duo. But we have one downfall. A big one...

Arguing.

We don't argue nicely. We both have tempers. Short ones. Loud ones. Generally speaking in life I am pretty chilled, but in an argument I can become quite dramatic. This can be overwhelming for an unsuspecting husband. PB has a gentle nature but has also worked as a chef for many years. Have you ever met a chef? They can be mental at times. 

When it was just the two of us it wasn't so bad. I mean, it was bad. It was awful. Fighting is exhausting. But it didn't impend on another person. Especially a little one who is completely dependent on us.

We have made a conscious decision not to argue in front of our child(ren). In theory this is great, but in practice it's hard. Especially when you are in the moment and all you want to do is release some frustration on the person you love the most, the person who will take it.

PB thought of a tool for us to use when we get into these situations. We're calling it Pen & Paper. If we're having a discussion that is about to turn into an argument, we go and get a piece of paper and write down what we want to say. Then we pass it to the other person who reads it, then writes their response. And so on until tempers are calmed and the situation is resolved.

The other week we used this to sort out a pretty serious problem we had been unable to talk about calmly. More recenlty we did it again only to find after about 5 minutes we were both laughing at how ridiculous the argument was in the first place. And today I scribbled furiously and repeadetly I AM TIRED! on a piece of paper as I sobbed on the floor until I was enveloped in arms and kisses.

I'm sure there will be times where we want to tear up the paper and stab each other with the pen, but for now this method is working for us. And you know what? We're both really proud of ourselves for doing it. I checked with PB to see if he felt ok with me writing this on here, and he agreed it was a good idea. I know I often post beautiful images that imply we are the perfect little family, which of course, we aren't. Today I wanted to share something that isn't perfect, but something we are working on.

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Hey hot stuff – 4 months today!