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He calls her The Small Lady.

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Smitten with each other.

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This morning I woke up – inspected the mess in the kitchen, living room, bedroom and bathroom – and got in the the car and went to play at Jill's house. (Photos above)

This afternoon PB got home from work – inspected the mess in the kitchen, living room, bedroom and bathroom – and announced that we don't go out for dinner often enough (never) so we're heading out for local teppanyaki. (Photos below).

We returned – ignored the mess in the kitchen, living room, bedroom and bathroom – and agreed we'll do a mad dash clean up tomorrow morning. Then we'll drive to the airport to pick my dad up. He arrives from Melbourne in the afternoon.

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1. Yellow Salts from Little Pinwheel (also available at Neck of the Woods in Manly. Formerly Pulp Life).
2. Tomato box from the recycling pile at our local cafe.
3. Neon caterpillar from PB's mum.
4. Bracelet made by Ruby.

My whole life has been an obsession with colours. They can make my heart stop. Twice this happened recently. From this and this. I even emailed Nath to make sure she was in good mental health because there was no other explanation for the selling of those cups. She assured me she was in fact ok.

I schemed to split them with a friend. They were almost ours except the postman charges an exorbitant amount to deliver to Australia, so we set them free. If you are in the UK please give them a home. Tell them we said Hi.

PS. PB says I should apologise for all the backyard photos. I'm sorry. But the warmer weather requires it of us. What it does not require is leaf blowers. Noisy, useless wake-the-baby things.

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Whilst most of the time I am happy to indulge myself on this blog – I was recently given the opportunity to spread the word about something good.

This is Jacqui. At 26 years old she has had cancer twice. In my naivety I thought she would be looked after by The System. Wrong. There is very little support for people with cancer aged 16-30. Those over 16 are currently treated in wards established with much older people in mind. This impacts their treatment and survival. The chance of surviving some cancers is halved when you hit 16. I didn't know that.

We met Jacqui last week for a hot chocolate. We hung out and she told us about some volunteer work she is doing with You Can. They're raising money for this overlooked age bracket for setting up specialised accommodation around Australia.

They need your old mobile phones, which get recycled to raise funds. Easy. So if you're guilty of hoarding a bunch of green screened Nokia's in your top drawer dig them out and send them over or drop them in a You Can bin.

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She might fly before she crawls.

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I scored these at Vinnie's on the weekend. Crappy photo but I just wanted to show the colour combinations. The bottom one was only two dollars (!!) Unlike the red chicken mini tea set in the window (better than it sounds) which was a whopping 45. I told myself 25 or less and that baby's mine. But 45? I walked.

This was four days ago and I'm still thinking about it. Tormented. It's easier to dwell on the little problems in life than the big ones sometimes.

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More photos from yesterday. I love these two of my friend and her baby boy.

Today was productive. Lots of things crossed off our list, including the replacement of my drivers license. The photo taken would give you the impression that I'm a pasty, puffy-eyed mess – but actually I'm feeling pretty good today. Next time I'll amp up the blusher and lip gloss.

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We went to play at Jill's house today. I could easily hang out there all day and take pictures. It's very cute to see two babies interact with each other, a bit of friendly eye gouging and hair pulling never goes astray. Jill needs her own blog but there is no time. She's going to share a bit of Rummey Bears. Expect more episodes soon.

PS. Those are Jill's yellow Saltwaters. She was the one to tip me off about them. That's where it all started.

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Things making me happy this week:

1. This little cowboy dude from Jill. Yet to find a home.
2. Splurging on cleanser and body wash. I have been using crap soap for weeks now. Enough is enough people.
3. Eating blocks of chocolate again. (Image not shown).
4. Finding grass and paper in BB's nappy. The paper may have had an Eric Carle illustration on it. (Image also not shown).

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This morning was my first solo breakfast date with Hayley. Unlike the other day – which I was so desperate to get away and therefore did't think about it too much – today I felt sad when I walked away from BB. Her little face was so happy when Hayley arrived, it hurt my heart just a teeny bit to leave her out of our fun.

But that soon dissipated. Coffee that little fingers didn't reach for. Poached eggs – which I didn't really feel like but ate by way of celebrating the fact that I could. (I've tried previously to eat eggs with BB on my lap... Disaster.) And of course spending time with my lovely mate.

Until the phone rang...

...BB screaming in the background. Crap. She's fallen. She's hurt herself. The cat has scratched her. She's sick.

No.

She missed us. Apparently as soon as we left she got sad. Kept looking around for us everywhere and then started crying and didn't stop. Poor PB was not feeling well so they ended up joining us. A grumpy snotface baby and husband that looked a little bit green and spent the remainder of the day between the loo and the bed.

Breakfast was still ace though. We snuck a solo hour in there. Girls can talk about a lot in that time.

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Thank you for the beautiful and supportive comments about my meltdown post. I was talking to Hayley today about admitting that sometimes it gets hard. Of course it does. Saying it out loud doesn't mean you love your children any less. I love BB to smithereens but sometimes the frustration of motherhood makes me want to tear my hair out... or bite my arm.

I'm feeling a million times better. And relieved. The last month I have been so grumpy and irritable, and after those few hours off all of that has dissipated. It wasn't my fault for being in a bad mood. I was trying my hardest. As Bethany Susan pointed out, next time have the break before I really need one – like eating before you get too hungry. Sage advice.

On another note it's someone's birthday today. Happy 2nd Birthday Mr.T! We love you! xxx

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I mentioned recently that the next thing I will lose is my mind. Today I almost got there.

I was talking to a good friend yesterday about expectations – and that as a mother to avoid frustration and disappointment it's better to have very little, if any. I have begun to put this into practice, but still find myself thinking I can achieve more than I'm capable of – which truth be told isn't very much.

I am lucky with her sleeping. Co-sleeping ensures that she sleeps through the night (albeit attached to my breast). It also means that until I go to bed she will stir every so often. Some nights are worse than others, but the evening sees me intermittently on human-dummy duty. PB was out last night and I didn't have too much on the agenda. Dinner and then if she allows I'll do some work and catch up on some emails. No expectations. Right?

Wrong. Dinner was an expectation that little BB was intent on shattering. Over an hour to cook some steak and broccoli. In retrospect it's not even that bad, but after 7 months of not having a break I was about to break. At one point I bit into my upper arm so hard to stop myself from screaming. Felt great at the time but I wouldn't recommend it. Teeth marks aren't a good look.

This morning I thought I felt better, but by midday I was again beside myself with despair. And for no good reason. PB's family had come to visit so I thouht that would be the perfect time to have a meltdown. Because really, that's not awkward at all.

Much needed me time happened there and then. I excused myself – actually, they just left while I hid in the bedroom crying – and I headed out for a couple of hours. I got myself a magazine. Sat at a cafe and had a coffee. Went for a walk. Looked in some shops. Tried on some clothes. Got back in touch with PB and all was good, I could have another hour. So I went and got myself some kerazy blue toes and soaked up that massage chair.

And damn I feel good tonight. Lighter. Happier. My dinner got interupted again several times, but it didn't bother me at all.

PS. Saltwater Sandals now available in kids and adult sizes at Little Pinwheel. (They ship internationally, too). 
PPS. I've not been that into it lately, but I have to say I really enjoyed the current issue of Russh Magazine.

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Happy 7 months BB!

To mark this momentous occasion we have brought earplugs for the neighbours.

PS. Eames portraits will resume next month. Ours is being replaced.
PPS. I bought a block of G&B's today and have eaten about half and the uneaten portion is tormenting me in the cupboard.

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Hellooooo happy!

The last few days we've been heads down bums up with the house. I haven't prettified it yet but there is nothing left lurking on the floor. To celebrate this PB mopped it this morning before work and has been calling himself a Domestic Goddess ever since.

Hayley took these pics with her iPhone at breakfast today – whilst she payed me out for losing mine. It was the last time little BB joins us, as next week she will be chillin' with her dad while I go out alone. For the first time in 7 months. It's our first step in plan Giving The Mum a Break Now And Then. Just a little one to recharge.

Feeling nervous, excited and a little bit guilty.

PS. Again I walked past chocolate at the shops. Had it in my hand and put it back.
PPS. Tonight we ate ice-cream to celebrate this immense achievement.