As Rummey Bears continues to evolve and morph into more of a personal mummy (type) blog I keep hitting walls of inner turmoil. Presently I'm mulling over the balance between keeping it aesthetically pleasing whilst remaining true to reality.
We interpret information based on our own experiences. If my experience on a particular day is that of Shitty With Raging Toddler I am not particularly receptive to someone who has merrily cooked and baked or sewn matching outfits for their children (and managed to document it all with a cumbersome DSLR). Nor do I take well to seeing the latest show-and-tell purchases, strategically placed objects in styled photographs or make-believe wishlists. As I write this I realise that on those days it's probably just best to stay off the computer at all. Dang.
However, on a good day these same things may wash over me as I bask in the interwebs endless stream of inspiration and try desperately not to follow any links for handmade wares on Etsy.
Initially I was quite content to pretty up my images (shove mess to the side, pull out a floral sheet here and there – that kinda thing) but now that the readership here extends beyond my immediate family and friends, and many of people that drop by may be time-poor and sleep-deprived mothers, am I at liberty to continue to edit out the crappy and dull? I don't want create a false personal advertorial but I also don't feel compelled to photograph my dirty bathroom – even with the magical 50mm lens.
This is my conundrum. As a blog author do you retain ownership to portray your life as whatever you please? Or do you think as your readership grows you have an ethical responsibility to be more aware of the picture you are painting?
(Images. Top: iPhone shenanigans. Bottom: Abstract Expressionism by BB)
I think as it's your blog you can do whatever you want on it whether 1 person reads it or 1 million.
ReplyDeleteWhen people who write blogs are more concerned with how their readers are perceiving them or what their readers want, then I think you're losing control of your own blog...
p.s. I like your blog as I think it's the former (more real!) :)
A bit of both!! Love your blog.
ReplyDeleteI've been following this blog for quite some time now, as a quiet reader. I like it not only because of the pretty pictures but because I have the feeling you're being honest with your readers. I never thought the photographs were too styled or you pictured your life as too good to be true, I especially love the way you write: ironical, funny, honest.
ReplyDeleteBlogging changes the way you experience "real life", you walk through it with opened eyes, always ready to snap a picture - at least, that's my experience. I think it's just normal that you choose to photograph brighter moments over dull and frustrating ones.
Evolution will change your blog, not you.... to completely corrupt a favourite shakespeare line "time will untie this knot, not I..." I mean to say, as your child grows so will you, either away, into something else, or slide back into something just for you and your family. I love your blog. It's a quiet and elegant peek into your family life on the other side of town. I have crazy days with my two boys (6 and 10 months) so blogs are my 'friends' in the quiet decompression into sleep.
ReplyDeleteHmmm, always tricky. I have to admit that any personal shots on my blog usually have had a sprucing up (ie. the mess on the floor is usually picked up and hauled into the nearest cupboard. Or under the bed. That sort of thing). I look at this way - it's kind of like doing a quick tidy-up before guests arrive. Not a spring-clean, just a little wipe over ;)
ReplyDeleteNow that you've mentioned it- I really wanna see your bathroom.
ReplyDeleteI feel the same- my response to a post will relate directly to how I feel at the time. As for my blog- it's so new (and largely unread) that i'm still figuring it out. Mostly I just post exactly how I feel, what interests me, and what I've been doing with my kids. My mother would call me a narcissist and my friends call me wanker, but hey, whatever.
I know you didn't write this for a complement fest- but while we are on the topic- I love your blog exactly as it is. I like the way you write, It's real. Both the good and the bad stuff appears as honest. So rock on.
essay over- spell check complete.
xo em
look at those 2 happy people in the top photo.. that's your blog. your blog. do, show, say, whatever you feel like recording or sharing. you have one amazingly honest & brutal way of writing. i like it. grumpy pants on or off.
ReplyDeletethese are things i think about a lot, too.
ReplyDeletei like to think that you should do as you please. it's your blog. i do as i please on mine. if one day i feel like posting pretty clothes, i do. if another day i feel like talking about how challenging being a stay at home is, i do.
ReplyDeleteit all changes. daily. just like motherhood
like the previous commenter...just write what you like. Some days your blog will be beautiful and super styled and give lots of inspiration to your readers to pretty up the kitchen table and etc, other times you will write about the crap of the everyday and this too will inspire your readers to be ok with the shitiness that strikes us all dealing with the mundane. Your readers like what you write, that's why they're here. If you change because you want to, then they'll either stay and like what you write even more or they'll go. Plenty of more readers will come your way. Blogs can be a small portion of the week that can be just yours and only yours. Make yourself happy on this one.
ReplyDeleteHello there- I'm new to your blog and love it already. I often have these sorts of reasoned debates in my mind and I figured that I write my blog mainly for myself and to capture happy memories and snapshots of our little life. Nobody needs to dwell on the bad times- focus on the happy aspects of your day, those magic moments and family achievements and on the tantrummy, stressful days where you feel like you're getting nowhere, you can look back and remind yourself that it's all worth it! And besides, I hate reading about other peoples' doom and gloom- we all have enough of our own without being bored by stacks more x
ReplyDeleteI love this post. I just had a discussion with my husband a few days ago about blogs and realities and what we choose to put forth and how we only get snapshots of people's lives. I JUST wrote a similar post to yours. I have a baby too, and I read a lot of mommy blogs, and I find it refreshing when the moms write about the good and the bad! Love your blog.
ReplyDeleteTell the truth.
ReplyDeleteI say tell the truth, just don't go to the too personal stuff. I read someone's blog because I know who she is personally, and I tell you she gets too personal and gross talking about things like when she goes to the toilet (number 2)- gross!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I know what you mean. I am in a bit of a pickle myself right now, as a blogger because my first grand baby is coming, and I'm not so sure I want to post photos of a child (although I love looking at others). I can't decide what to do, and of course I have to respect baby's parents as well.
Anyway, Anna, I love your blog, well, I'll be honest and tell you I love all of your blog EXCEPT the cussing. I don't like that so much.
Stay true, but keep some things sacred and private and personal - that's my 2 cents! :)
Keep it real please! There's too much 'fake' out there!
ReplyDeletepost as youve always posted, post whaveter you like - saying whatever comes into your head as youre typing. that is why I come back.
ReplyDelete(not that say whatever is in your head...oh you know what I mean. dont change - basically!!)
It's really just an extension of real life, isn't it? I'd certainly tidy my house if people were coming to visit. And I'd dress my daughter in a cuter outfit to go out... but if we're staying in, what's wrong with a wondersuit smeared in pumpkin puree? I don't think there's a need to apologise for having a little bit of (healthy) pride.
ReplyDeleteWhen I read 'pretty' blogs, I'm not convinced their life is perfect. There's a certain amount of transparency...the editing is obvious. I know this because I tend to do it myself. But I don't see too much harm in it. I'm not about to disclose images of my grimy bathroom either, for the same reasons I'd tidy it in real life for visitors, but this doesn't mean that I don't let people know my struggles.
I love that your blog is honest, funny and aesthetically pleasing... but if you want it to just be honest and funny, that would be fine with me, too. xx
I hear you loud and clear Mama Bear. Sometimes I grapple with Mama-blogs as well. Mine has essentially become one (not that I really post much these days) but often when reading/looking at perfect images of other's kids/baked goods/houses etc I feel a combo of wow factor/envy/is that your real life or a big PR stunt?I guess, blogs like real life are how we want people to perceive us. Reconciling that with being true and real isn't always easy, but I reckon you do a really good job of it.
ReplyDeleteHi Anna...it's been awhile!
ReplyDeleteI don't think your blog should be anything other than want you want it to be. Simple! I know, I'm a genius. Thank me later...
I guess if you're looking to attract more readers or take on sponsorship then I'm sure you would need to think about your content and images differently. But I'm gathering that's not the case...?
And as for aesthetics, don't forget one persons idea of lovely pic is another persons eyeball roll!
I always think about why I started my blog...to show my work, to talk and share photos of my two little beans, (especially for my family and friends interstate) and things and people I find interesting. I also really like taking photos and writing. I never really show my house because it's a bit crap and when I decided too (school holidays were a killer last term) I felt relieved because you know whatevs. The world didn't fall apart, I might have lost some readers (I may even have lost some sales..you're making my mobile in THAT pigsty! Wha!) but at the end of the day I don't write for anyone else. I feel like my blog is an extension of myself, hopefully truthful, abit goofy, sometimes organized and pretty, sometimes a big old ramble and blah-fest.
And to be honest, most of the time I don't really think about it. There are soooo many different types of blogs to suit all different types of people. I think there is room for everyone and every kind of blog. And for sure, days away from the computer are imperative!
Do what you think lady! You're instinct seems to have proven you well so far. lots of love madsxx
I write and take photos for my blog as a personal way to document my life. I do it for myself and if people happen to read it then I hope I inspire them particuly if they are having a bad day. But more importantly it's an outlet for self expression and for me that's in a creative manor especially with my photography.
ReplyDeleteLife is beautiful so why not share the beauty! I agree there are days when being a mother is bloody hardcore and perhaps those are the days when we mothers need to be taken to a nice place of inspiration? If the images of people createing or do wonderful things is making one feel down or they have a negative reaction to it then as you say don't enter blog land on those days but then again people could surprise themselves and turn there mood around.
I say blog what you want to blog and fo it for yourself!!!!
I guess it really does depend if you want it to be a personal mummy blog or as a journalistic informative blog?
What ever you decide I will continue to read and if I'm having a shitty day seeing your beautiful life in no way effects me other then being happy for you.
Just do. Have fun. And do what pleases you.
ReplyDeleteokay- i showed you mine.
ReplyDeletehttp://thebeetleshack.blogspot.com/2011/08/truth-for-mummy-rummy.html
now lets really see it! ;)
xo em
Tis tricky isn't it? Rob teases me about whether I paint our life as too perfect, or only show the pretty/good bits. Maybe. I love your blog, and I still would if you share the ups and downs. Love the photo BB looks so happy!
ReplyDeleteYour blog is you in interwebs format do on the good days kick the shitto the side and bring on the floral. On the bad days, just let it all hang out a little. Ah. See, that way you're real and warm and lovely and your blog is too. xx
ReplyDeleteThis is quite the thought- provoking post Anna. Hmmm, I wouldn't think you owe an ethical duty to anyone, unless maybe you were a Professional Blogger. I say it's your Blog. Your life. You retain ownership to do whatever the frig you like. I enjoyed reading Rummey Bears when you documented: 'the latest show-and-tell purchases, strategically placed objects in styled photographs or make-believe wishlits" and I still enjoy reading it with your honest tales of shitty days with Raging Toddler. Personally, I like things mixed up a little. In Blogland and in Life. I like to read honest accounts of life as a Mama but then I also don't endless tales of how hard life is. Unless like really is one long, hard road and then I'm sorry for those people. Blogs mean different things to different people. We have the choice to pick what we want to read and click over what we don't.
ReplyDeleteI have a Blog for all our family and friends that don't have FB. Hence why there are so many feakin photos of my kids. The grandparents wouldn't want it any other way.
Loving that gorgeous artwork up there xx
Too right you retain ownership! It's your space, your family, your life. You're not editing out the crappy and dull, you're just putting in the wonderful and memorable. I don't think anyone assumes, just because you show BB in a cute dress every now and then, that she's never plastered in Weet-bix with baked beans up her nose. And who cares if we never see your bathroom? I can go look at mine if I want to see a dirty one. I'm pretty new to this but I say blog what you want and if readers think you're not real enough, let them go find it elsewhere. And for what it's worth, I reckon the more conscious you are of the picture you are painting, the less natural and real you'll seem. xx Rant over.
ReplyDeleteBtw, I love your blog. Did I mention that?
ReplyDeleteI read this yesterday but wasn't really into writing some equally thought-provoking comment.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Bianca though, and Kathryn. I think your blog should be what you want it to be. If you feel like you have a moral obligation, then that's fine, but I don't think you have to. You have a very honest blog, and I've often read posts here about how tough things can be or how you don't want it to look like you guys live a perfect life.
It's nice to look at pretty pictures sometimes, and can be inspiring. Like flicking through a good mag. But the days when I don't want to see it, I don't pay much attention. I think it's obvious when things have been staged, we all do it, but is that really such a bad thing?
My blog is for me, as a litle record for our first years of marriage and now parenthood, and for our friends and family who live far away (I am poo at Facebook). It's cool that other people read it, and I've made some awesome little buddies along the way, but I'm happy doing what I want. It's my space. And you should feel the same. Do what you want my dear!
But, as always, I love your blog the way it is xx
I love it when bloggers talk about blogging and are able to put into words the feelings I have about the whole thing. Yours is spot on. I would like to think I am a creative type of person however my day job does not allow for that type of work so my blog has always been an outlet for me - the photography, the writing. I try and not think about who is reading it however it is sometimes difficult to not acknowledge that aspect of it. I would like to think that the readers are smart women. I know that if you take the pretty sheet out to style your photo it is because you get some satisfaction from making that pretty picture...that you are an artist...not that the pretty sheet makes your whole life pretty. I know that life is not very pretty. That being said, I do love to be inspired by the prettiness as long as there is some reality thrown in. I enjoy reading your blog Anna because it is just that...through your writing you are able to keep it from being overly sweet. But I'm happy to find myself wanting a pair of mustard cords...or saltwater sandals for my child...that is just fine.
ReplyDeleteI, too, get frustrated with the perfect life 'mommy bloggers' tend to project. I know people use it as escapism, but sometimes it is just so darn galling!
ReplyDeleteI come back to rummey bears because you seem more real (and I'm not living in Sydney and am missing it dearly!)
It's such a tough one, isn't it? I think you're doing the right thing. Stay true to reality. We need that as moms. My husband is always trying to get me to doll up my presentation in photos more for the blog. I resist because it's untrue, but also because I'm god awful tired after my 7 month old goes down to bed. I can't be bothered with pretty anymore. I just to eat and stare into space.
ReplyDeleteI loved Cup of Jo's recent discussion of this whole balance and the moms we see on the street in crisp white shirts making us feel like crap. It's funny think those same moms are feeling just like us. We're in this together, after all.
I love your blog and it never rings false. xo
I love your blog Anna and the more honest the better in my view. I think the fact that you are thinking critically about the implications of what and how you post shows a degree of sensitivity and compassion towards your readers/other people. I often think that prettied-up blogs contribute to feelings of inadequacy and insufficiency in the same way that so many magazines - and people's facebook pages -do:). Attractive, designy photos are not what makes your blog so great, but of course you are free to post whatever takes your fancy on your wonderful blog. x
ReplyDeleteHi Anna,
ReplyDeleteI'm not a blogger but I've lurked on Rummey Bears for over a year now - I stumbled upon it having just moved to Aus from London, and found myself pregnant at around the time Rosie was born. From the start it seemed really relevant (babies! a London move! weird feelings about Mother's Group!), plus I just love looking at the photos. I have no interior design/general design skills whatsoever, and your photos make up a bit of my internal 'look-book' when I'm trying to figure out how to make our ramshackle house look something closer to shabby chic, rather than just shabby and boasting flipping ridiculous colour combos from the 80s. You do make everything look completely gorgeous and I probs would feel a bit inferior and messy in comparison if you didn't also say how things are hard or frustrating sometimes. In fact some of your posts, such as when you tried to feed Rosie in a park and it was a bit disastrous, have really helped me in these early bonkers days of motherhood. Plus your photos cheer me up about Australia when I'm homesick for the pubs and more pubs of home. I think my basic message is I love the blog, the photos make me smile, and the writing makes me feel better for never going to my Mother's Group.
hey anna, i enjoy the sneaky peaks into anothers' day when i am stuck in mummy land and feeling trapped (help!).
ReplyDeletei enjoy the way you take photos of your things/child/happenings, i think it reflects the way YOU perceive your world, and that is what is of interest to me as a reader.
so be it skanky or pretty, i would hate to see you become too self-conscious about it - just do what you do, choose what pleases you, because you do it well and we all enjoy rummey b's so much - glad to have you back online!
cheers,
Tali.
You are the artist. Somedays it may be La Grant Jatte - all meticulous and picturesque, some days it may be Piss Christ - foul smelling and provocative.
ReplyDeleteWe will still come to see it, whatever it is.
I follow you blog, because of what you write, it is funny, intelligent and honest. While I like the pictures you post it is the story I come back for, you a re a really good writer, so follow your instinct and write about whatever you feel, I'll be there nodding because I understand or laughing because of your wit and humour.
ReplyDeleteHi Anna. I'm a long time stalker (um, reader) but I've never commented. I think I stumbled across your blog just after BB was born, while preparing for my own home birth in London. I just want to say that I love your blog with the prettied-up and the not-prettied-up images. I have a 13 month old sleep dodger. Some days I'm so sleep deprived that I feel like I need to use toothpicks to keep my eyes open. On those days, I long to read that someone else is struggling with some aspects of motherhood too. I also love to see beauty and read engaging copy, just to remind myself that I used to be (and will one day again) a fully functioning intelligent woman. I hope you retain the feeling of ownership and continue to write whatever you like and post photos of whatever the hell you can manage. I like your blog, just as it is. Karen x
ReplyDeletegreat post...i'm a bit topsy turvy with mine at the moment to but i like to aspire to a tidy organised fashionable world even if i'm totally messy and unorganised. I love to be inspired by people who seem to do it naturally and equally inspired by those who fail frequently...like me! I read a lot of blogs for that purpose... i like a mix. It's your blog, go with your gut and post what the hell you like my lovely!
ReplyDeleteT x
Engracia said it all for me - what you write is what I love and what I keep coming back for - the good, the bad and the ugly. Heck, that's life isn't it, what's wrong with real life! It's your blog, you should write what you want to write.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a mum but I have crazy days sometimes and it's nice to know I'm not alone in that. I love your honesty, the glow I feel from your writing that comes from a life well lived, even if it's a bit messy round the edges sometimes. That can be where the fun is after all.
To me, the photos are a bonus, and I think they're all beautiful because the love that you take them with shines through, tidy floor or otherwise!
I think the very fact that you wrote this post shows how honest and lovely you are...even when you think you're not. I love your blog for this and will continue to read regardless if you post about a toddler poop-filled toilet or the sun peeking through the trees as your baby girl swings at the park. Rock on, mama.
ReplyDeleteHurray for keeping it real! I love your blog...it is refreshingly real, keep it that way. Honestly if I see another close up of a bowl of soup, I may spew! ; )
ReplyDeleteGive me honesty and reality over the Truman Show any day x
Yes!! So true. I JUST joined facebook and ponder the same thing. AND, is there effort in making it not so perfect? Like, is a blurry photo or a badly cropped photo etc. a ploy to make all your other photos less contrived? I am being serious!
ReplyDeleteKeep it real. There are enough people posing and creating that perfect picture/product/purchase for all of us. I would much rather read the imperfection or nothing at all! xx
ReplyDeleteMaybe looking back we really do remember the good over the bad we tend to do the same on our blogs. Make the memories purty. But messy rooms and real mommy moments are beautiful too. Balance. X ashley
ReplyDelete